Videogames and associated madness.

SA – Sims Anonymous

voniharper — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 09:17:14 +0000

The Sims 2 – ‘Sequel to the best selling PC game of all time’ as EA keeps screaming at us from the box art, and it’s not hard to see how it earned the title. The original was more addictive as smack and twice as bloody expensive, and its little brother takes after it with an alarming degree of accuracy.

Hi. I’m Voni Harper and I’m a Sims addict. I can’t help myself. I’ve whiled away many a precious hour by happily prodding little digital people about to do my bidding. Ok, so they can’t make me a cup of tea or take over the world, but they’re thoroughly entertaining nonetheless.

I suppose because of this I will never be able to be objective about the game. Somehow, EA have cranked out the ‘base’ game, eight expansion packs and eight stuff packs. Stuff packs! Only EA could get away with calling them that and charging us £10 for the sodding privilege!

What is wrong with us, exactly? I own seven EPs and 7 Stuff packs, and I fully intend on grabbing Apartment Life and Ikea Stuff as soon as I possibly can. I will do so fully aware that they will offer me a few more objects and building options, a limited expansion on game play and a gnawing suspicion that I’ve just wasted my money yet again. Again, what is wrong with us?

We can’t blame EA, like a lot of people seem to do. ‘They’re just a money grabbing corporate giant, they don’t care about quality, they just want our cash’. That argument doesn’t really hold water. They’re not an evil corporation; the fact is that like any business, their bottom line is that they have to make money to survive. They made The Sims and it became an absolutely massive success, thanks to the startlingly original game play and excellent design. Then due to popular demand, they started making the expansion packs because, well, they’re not stupid! If your customers are asking for more, you don’t around and go, ‘NO! That’s your lot, now do one!’

So, if it’s not EA’s fault, whose is it? I’ll tell you – it’s ours! Now stop getting your knickers in a twist and let me explain. Like I just said, if you lot didn’t keep buying the games, the developers a) charge less for them, or b) stop making them. It’s not rocket science, isn’t it?

But as any addict can tell you, to stop using smack or buying Sims EPs, you have to admit that you have a problem (The problem that you keep going consistently overdrawn for said EPs). Can we ever admit that to ourselves? If all the EPs had been constantly awful, we could have said, ‘Enough’s enough, I’m off to rejoin the real world and mow the lawn or raise my neglected child or something’. But the problem was, some of them were good. Seasons, for example, was excellent. Bon Voyage was alright. Open for Business sucked, but I borrowed it from a friend so my cash was safe.

Anyway, my point was that we’re not entirely safe from the threat Sims 2 is to our livelihoods and social lives, not until The Sims 3 comes out next year, anyway. Then we’ll all get suckered back in, probably apart from me. With all the Sims content on my PC, I live in constant fear that it’ll eventually implode, so trying to install The Sims 3 would probably bring about nuclear war or something.

Voni

Tomb Raider: The Inevitable Sequel

voniharper — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 12:13:22 +0000

I have a long standing relationship with Lady Lara Croft. No, not like that, you filth. I mean with the games she stars in, the ever popular Tomb Raider series.

I bought the original game back in early 1997, just after I’d been given a Playstation (the original, before they made the new models and just stuck numbers on the end of the new consoles rather than thinking up new monikers for them) for my birthday. I had no idea what Tomb Raider was all about, apart from the fact that they starred the aforementioned Ms. Croft. I’d never bought a game for myself before, so you’ve got to imagine how much the Croft phenomenon had exploded into popular culture at this point.

So I bought it, played it, and fell in love with it. The game was epic in scale without having to resort to fancy gimmicks and quick time events. I liked that I was plonked in the middle of a whacking great tomb and was told, ‘Right, sort this one out then’. I was allowed to explore and leap about in an entirely inhuman way (face it, no one should be able to jump that far without springs for calf muscles) to my heart’s content. Fantastic.

With anything that’s insanely popular though, there’s always the inevitable backlash. Christopher Brookmyre, in his book ‘A Big Boy did it and Ran Away’, described Tomb Raider as ‘the Mariah Carey of gaming’. And he’s not wrong. Everyone knows what it is and I think quite a few gamers are sick of it. Ok, so there’s not been a Lara Croft kart racer yet, but it’s only a matter of time.

There have been, to date, eight Tomb Raider titles, six of which were technically excellent but uninspired sequels (with the possible exception of TR2, which was ace), and one pretty but horribly truncated remake of the ’96 classic. So how, you may ask, did Eidos sell so many copies of the blummin’ thing? Easy. Sex. Lara was the first ever controllable female character in gaming (yes, I’m pointedly ignoring Samus Aran as you didn’t find out she was a lady till the end), so Eidos and Core started taking off her digital clothes and saying, ‘Phwoaaar, get an eyeful of this!’ Not a sophisticated tactic, but you can’t deny it worked.

So, this all culminated in the bloody awful Tomb Raider: The Angel of Darkness in 2003. I won’t dwell too much on it, because all the criticism has been levelled at it many times before and if you’re reading this, you’ve probably played it and know exactly why it’s such a nightmare. Eidos replaced Core with Crystal Dynamics, amid rumours and speculation that it was in fact, their fault that TR: AOD had been rushed out long before it was ready. In any case, now we have a ‘new generation’ Lara.

If you play the games or have ever spoken to a die hard TR fan, you probably know the popular opinion on CD. The accusations levelled at their feet are numerous; they’ve dumbed it down, there’s too many mercenaries, the puzzles are too easy, the games are too short, there’s not enough exploration… all justified complaints, I reckon. So I think with the much hyped release of Tomb Raider: Underworld, slated for release this November, CD are really going to have to pull the stops out to wow everyone.

To date, we’ve been treated to a handful of screenshots and two teaser trailers. If you fancy a look, the screens can be found here: http://www.tombraiderchronicles.com/underworld/screenshots_360_01.html, and the trailers here: http://www.tombraiderchronicles.com/od/underworld_01.html and here: http://www.tombraiderchronicles.com/od/underworld_03.html.

My opinion so far? Well, you can’t take it too seriously, as I’m a rather dedicated TR fangirl, I just hide it very well. But if you really want to know, I’m cautiously optimistic. CD are promising a return to massive environments and puzzles, and hopefully the ‘epic’ feel of original game. They’re not messing about either. For the first level, they’ve decided, ‘Sod it, let’s go under the sea’, bringing about big guns to shoot sharks in the snout with and a lovely whacking great underwater tomb.

One of the puzzles looks promising. It involves Lara, a huge room, a big, spiky… thing, and a kraken. Of course it does. Incidentally I prefer the name the Tomb Raider forums have given it, the Underpus. But I digress. Lara needs to pass through the tomb, but the Underpus is blocking the way with his big tentacles, the inconsiderate git. So what does Lara need to do? Swing about the place and find the switch/pulley system/button (it’s not made clear) to shove the spiky thing into Underpus’ head. Ow. It’s one way of doing it, I suppose.

If you click only one of the links, I strongly suggest you click the last one. As a teaser trailer, it’s intriguing. We see Croft Manor getting blown to smithereens by a shadowy figure who is most likely Ms. Croft herself, but the forumites are going mad, suggesting more and more bonkers conspiracy theories by the minute. As advertising goes, it’s a good ‘un. People are talking about the game, aren’t they? And my opinion? Well, it’s obviously Lara. I’m more bothered that it’s pointing towards some massive plot twist in the game. Why else would she blow up her own home?

CD, do us a favour and keep that in the game, or you’re going to have some very unhappy fans.

In conclusion, um, ‘YAY TOMB RAIDER!’ I guess. If CD play this right they could revive the series to its former glory once and for all. Me and and all the other fans will be watching anxiously.

Hello bandwagon, I think I’ll jump on you.

voniharper — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 15:12:58 +0000

Hi.

I’m Voni. This is my blog. Be nice to the kittens and avoid dropping litter. Follow those rules and we’ll get on famously.

In all seriousness, yes, this is going to be a gaming blog. I keep another personal blog elsewhere, but I’m not linking to it because it’s not going to be at all relevant to this one. It’s really only there to contain the overspill from my brain. If I didn’t write in it, I’d probably be on the streets shouting ‘Why don’t ducks have teeth?’ at strangers, and I think the police frown upon harrassment.

(Honestly, if you can tell me if ducks have teeth or not, let me know. It’s an issue).

Anyway, I’m hoping to update this site weekly with musings on video games and the gaming community at large. Also hopefully, it’ll be entertaining. I’m sure you’ll let me know if it is or not soon enough.

If you’re interested, I currently game on my PC, a PS2 and Nintendo DS. Yes, yes, I know, I haven’t got anything current gen. Yet. In a few weeks I’ll get my mitts on a PS3, and then with any luck the fun will really begin.

Voni